


A.K.A A Broken Iris

by RogerJaSm



Category: Jessica Jones (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Best Friends, Broken Engagement, Denial of Feelings, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Engagement, F/F, Feelings, Feels, Friendship, Heavy Angst, Hurt Jessica Jones, Hurt Patricia Walker, Hurt/Comfort, Jessica Jones Needs a Hug, Mild Comfort, Not A Happy Ending, Not Happy, POV Jessica Jones, Patricia Walker Needs A Hug, Romance - Implied, Sad, Sad Ending, Suppressed Feelings, suppressed emotions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-18
Updated: 2019-04-18
Packaged: 2020-01-15 20:35:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18506596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RogerJaSm/pseuds/RogerJaSm
Summary: A look at what may have happened if Jessica had been there for Trish after she refused Griffins Proposal.





	A.K.A A Broken Iris

 

“You.” Dorothy all but spat as she left Trish’s apartment.

 

“You did this, if you hadn’t brought your problems back into her life, she would have settled down a long time ago.” Jessica wanted to role her eyes at the statement.

 

 _Yeah and you’ve been nothing but be a ray of sunshine for her._ She thought, the memories of a bruised, scared, broken and bloodshot eyed Trish flashing through her mind.

 

“Do us all a favour and let her get on with her life, maybe the next guy she decides to date won’t end up with a broken heart.”

 

“Look lady I’m sorry that your dear  _Patsy_ didn’t grow up to be the perfect little girl you still think she is but It’s high time you pulled your own head out of your ass before I do it for you.” Dorothy glowered at Jessica, her shoulder bumping into the raven-haired woman’s as she stalked towards the elevator.

 

“Sorry I forgot who I was talking to, the odds of you finding your own head up there are near to impossible.” The older woman gave one last cold stare at the younger female before stepping into the elevator. Jessica shook her head tiredly, rolling her eyes simultaneously as she turned to enter Trish’s apartment, a few moments later stepping over the threshold, shutting the door behind her.

 

As Jessica stepped into Trish’s living room her gaze landed on the blonde woman rifling through a bag which rested on the arm chair. Before Jessica was able to make her presence known, Trish raised the object she had been looking for out of the bag, the raven-haired woman’s gaze landing on the object she had produced with a sickening dread; before Trish could go any further Jessica shot forward, swiping the item out of the Blonde’s hand in one smooth motion.

 

“Jesus Trish, are you insane?” As Jessica’s gaze turned to look at Trish her stomach plummeted. She was slumped against the front of the settee, her shoulders quaking gently, prominent tear tracks visible as fresh thick tears flowed down them. She looked raw, in a way Jess had never seen before, it stole the breadth out of her lungs.

 

_Damn emotions._

 

“Trish…” The blonde woman’s gaze met Jessica’s for a moment, the grief that was visible in her irises coursing her stomach to feel like lead. She was almost grateful that Trish turned away, it helped prolong the inevitable conversation that loomed.

 

_God Trish… Why do you do this to yourself._

 

Jessica turned to look down at the object in her hand, sighing tiredly; as her gaze moved to look back at Trish, she crushed the inhaler, dropping it to the ground before slowly making her way over to the blonde slumped against the settee. She dropped to the floor next to her, Jessica’s head lulling back onto the settee, her head dropping to the side to look at Trish whose own head was turned away from her.

 

“So… This is a shit situation.” Trish snorted, swiping the back of her hand against her nose.

 

“Why are you here Jess?” She wished It was easier, to say the real reason she came back, yet being able to put her emotions into words, it eluded her, it always had, even when it came to the one person who mattered most.

 

“Your mothers a piece of work, not that you didn’t already know that.” Avoidance, she could do avoidance, she’d mastered the art of it by now. Trish turned to look at her, meeting Jessica’s gaze in turn; the hollow look in her green eyes, it coursed Jessica’s heart to ache in a way she had desperately attempted to suppress, to push the feeling away. She averted her gaze, not able to bear the scrutinizing gaze Trish had directed at her, it felt as if she was looking through her, could see the real her, the one Jessica kept under lock and key.

 

“Why are you here Jess?” The question, she knew it was unavoidable, that Trish would see straight through her meek attempt of avoidance.

 

“You know the pa—”

 

“Jess…” She wasn’t ready, she couldn’t do _this_ , not now, not opening her heart to Trish when she had chained it down, locked it away for so long.

 

“Why are you  _here_.” The thought of running flicked through her mind, if only for a moment, yet she knew that even if she did run all it would end up doing would be to make the situation even more complex.

 

“I didn’t want you to be alone.” It was the truth, at-least part of it, it helped her stomach the thought of telling her, yet it also kept the part she desperately wanted to keep hidden locked away, the notion of keeping her feelings buried won in this instance.

 

“Well you don’t have to worry I’m fine.” Jessica snorted, turning to meet Trish’s gaze.

 

“Cut the crap, we both know you’re not ok, or are we just going to forget about what I saw you doing when I walked in here.” Trish dropped Jessica’s incessant gaze, staring down at the empty space between them.

 

“You don’t get it do you.” The words caught her off guard, causing Jessica’s brows to stitch together in confusion.

 

“I think what I do get is that asking someone to marry you shouldn’t be about showing off to all your snooty little friends and that the moment you stepped foot into that hall you didn’t want to marry him, I saw it Trish, the look in your eyes, why do you think I couldn’t have gotten out of there quick enough... I just don’t get why you’re like this if you were the one to end it.” The words she had spoken before leaving the hall still echoed around her, she could still remember the feelings that had clawed at her upon saying them.

 

 _‘I’m happy for you.’_  She’d hoped saying the words aloud would have brought some truth to them, yet all they had done was cement what she already knew.

 

“I’m not upset about the engagement ending.” She said in a quiet voice, her gaze still permanently directed towards the floor; Jessica snorted lightly.

 

“Well that’s pretty obvious.” Trish glowered at her.

 

“Why can’t you understand.” Jessica watched her for a moment, studying the woman who had universally been defined as her sister yet paradoxically never would be, no matter how many times she had attempted to convince herself the latter was true.

 

“You were right, about the engagement, I couldn’t marry him, the moment I stepped foot into that hall I knew what my answer should’ve been.” The words came out rushed, quietly, in a desperate breadth, as if they pained her to say.

 

“So why go through with it.” As Trish’s gaze met Jessica’s again, she knew the answer, the emotions, the unspoken words she saw pooling in the blonde’s glassy green irises, it coursed her to let out a quiet sigh.

 

_Damn it Trish._

 

“I couldn’t do that to him, not in front of all those people.” Part of her wanted to be bitter, vengeful, yell at Trish for not understanding, breaking  _her_ without even knowing.

 

_No._

 

She’d buried it, she had, the want, the emotions, everything, she had made sure of it. Yet here, in-front of the one person who mattered most, would  _always_ matter, they always bubbled to the surface, a crack in the walls she had built around the feelings she desperately wished didn’t exist. Trish never deserved this, the unrequited emotions, an ache so deep it threatened to shatter someone whole, all she had ever wanted was to help people, to help  _Jessica_ and here she was pini— wanting something that was unreachable.

 

She had thought about running again, countless times, letting Trish get on with her life, achieve what she had always dreamed of, not being held back by some drunken addict who had a death wish. Yet each time her gaze connected with Trish’s green pupils she knew leaving would be impossible; even if her own hang-ups, feelings existed, she would burry them deeper, chain them down, build better walls around them, ones which couldn’t crack from a glassy stare, ones which—

 

“ess… Jess…  _Jess_.” She was snapped out of her thoughtful trance by a soft hand on her shoulder and gentle words filtering through her ears. She blinked a dozen or so times, her gaze eventually finding the glassy, concern filled one of her friend. Her heart rate accelerated at the realization of Trish’s close proximity, she had moved to sit in front of Jessica, sat in the remaining space between the coffee table and the raven-haired woman, worry etched along her face.

 

“You ok, you spaced out there for a minute.” Jessica studied the blondes features for a moment, berating herself for coursing Trish to worry.

 

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine.” She swallowed past the lump in her throat, watching as Trish slumped backwards, her hand leaving Jessica’s shoulder simultaneously, It allowed for the raven-haired woman to grasp some sort of control over her frantically beating heart, yet the warmth from Trish’s touch still stayed with her.

 

She needed to breath, to create some seance of distance between herself and the depths of Trish’s green irises, to hinder the collapse of the defenses she had built around her emotions, around  _herself_. Jessica’s gaze traced its way along the blonde’s face, memorizing, etching an image of her, something the raven-haired woman would be able to hold onto, something that would keep her going.

 

“You have my number.” As Jessica stood, her gaze connected with Trish’s for a moment, the confusion, hurt and question flashing through her green pupils for a brief second, before the final emotion flickered through her irises. Jessica turned, beginning to make her way towards the foyer of Trish’s apartment; the world felt slower, as if she was seeing it through a filter, the journey which would have ordinarily taken seconds felt as if it took minutes to reach the entrance to the blonde’s apartment.

 

Jessica shut the door in near silence, her hand lingering on its handle. She wasn’t sure how long she stayed like that, only aware of the fact that she was broken out of her slight trance by the gentle vibration of her mobile.

 

_‘I think I found something’ – M_

 

As she made her way towards the elevator, she sent of a hasty reply, sliding the phone back into her pocket before pushing the call button. The gentle whirr of the elevator filled her ears, sounding louder than it ordinarily may have; it felt longer, the wait for the characteristic sound which indicated the elevator’s arrival, yet once it finally arrived she felt as if a weight had been lifted, an unsettling feeling that had settled itself upon her gone. She glanced at Trish’s door, the dull ache in her heart returning, yet before the feeling enveloped her, before it become the only thing she could focus on, she stepped forward, entering the elevator in one fluid motion. As the familiar whirr returned and she began to make her decent one thought, one  _sight_ , one memory filled her mind, the emotion, the final one that had flickered through Trish’s green irises.

 

_Acceptance._

**Author's Note:**

> It's been a little while since I wrote anything and after just finishing Jessica Jone's season one and two (for the first time) this little piece burrowed it's way into my head.
> 
> For those curious about the progress of my other work I haven't abandoned them, they are still in-progress life has just unfortunately been hectic so far this year so we will see what happens regarding their continuation sometime soon hopefully.
> 
> I always love to hear your thoughts whether they are positive or negative!


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